Depending on the context, ‘What’s your shoe size?’ can seem like the most normal question in the world. I suppose from the point of view of the questioner, every question is rather normal, it’s just that the context and circumstances of the answerer can make even the most normal seem peculiar at times.
I remember distinctly being asked this very question twice in odd circumstances. Although separated by over 20 years, and quite unlike each other, they are connected.
The last time, I was at the leaving do of a senior executive. In his introductory speech, the executive’s successor posed the question to the audience. Although it was meant to be a rhetorical one the literal answer immediately came from a happy, honored, and deeply respected man, “Eight and a half!” To which came the reply, “I’m a 14 myself, but will find it very hard to fill your shoes!”. Great and sincere praise indeed.
Two decades earlier, I arrived after a ridiculously long drive in the car park of our London HQ. I was well on time for my important 9.30 AM appointment. Sometimes, my job dictated on being there ‘nice and early’, and a hotel the night before was not always an option. I was accustomed to starting at the crack of dawn and beating the traffic jams. Leaving before breakfast, armed with a flask of coffee and a sandwich, was just the way that I did it. An old traveler’s trick, learned from my mentor, was to always change your socks and shoes when you have tired feet! “It’s the best way to wake up after a long drive”. “Good morning Andrew, put your shoes on lad and we’ll grab some breakfast and have a chat before we see ‘his nibs’.” I always liked Jim’s healthy disrespect for hierarchy and his sense of humor. Hair? Checked. Tie? Checked. Jacket? Checked. Slippers? #*@$ed! Oh, the embarrassment of having to see ‘his nibs’ in my carpet slippers! I’d never live it down.
I’m not quite sure what the exact train of events in the following 45 minutes was. It felt like I broke more than one record for sprinting in central London in carpet slippers. I also discovered that the majority of shoe shops did not open until well after 9 o’clock. The cab back to the HQ cost me a pretty penny too, but even that paled into insignificance compared to the price of my new shoes! And ‘his nibs’, he did not even notice. It was the first and last time that I ever forgot my shoes though.
When we have an old pair of shoes we don’t much care about the size. They either fit or they don’t. And the chances are that they will fit rather well, otherwise, they would have long disappeared into the land of lost shoes.
I do hear quite a lot about the size-14 successor these days. He’s doing just fine and has really managed to follow his predecessor’s tough act. And Jim, he always wore his shoes well. I wasn’t the first recruit that he had to break-in or the last, but I’m sure that he thought of me when he opened and wore his Christmas present that year.
What’s your shoe size? When in doubt, always remember your slip-ups and the lessons of wearing too comfortable ones. And those new shoes? They were so uncomfortable that I always fondly remember Jim and ‘his nibs’ whenever I try a new pair on. May their ‘soles’ rest in peace.